Last days.....

I was telling a few of the kids that I'm leaving on Saturday, and Dan started to cry. It breaks my heart thinking of leaving him. I spent some special time with him this afternoon and told him how special he is to me and how much I love him. He very sweetly got quiet and told me he loves me. We went for a walk together and I cried about five times thinking about leaving him. How do I leave him? Not knowing where he'll be going from here. Not knowing whether he'll have a family or go to school... I just wish I could take him home with me and give him everything. I wish I could take him so that I would know he would receive endless love and opportunities. I just love him so much.

We went to an AIDS orphanage yesterday and I fell in love with this little girl who didn't speak English, but she was beautiful and clung to me the whole time. Tomorrow we're going over to our pastors house for one more home cooked meal, and Friday one of the other volunteers is gonna make us all breakfast for dinner for our last night. We're going over to the couple who leads worship at church's house for a pancake breakfast Saturday morning. The rest of my last few days here will be spent with the children, getting them to draw some last minute pictures, taking as many pictures and videos as I can so that I will never forget each of their little quirks and the sound of their little voices.

Just some things I don't want to forget about my time here... We visited different children's homes, one for special needs and one for children with AIDS. We went on a boat ride to the source of the Nile and saw monkeys. We got to have a picnic dinner with an amazing family on the Nile. We got to pray for a woman who was hit by a car and hasn't walked in a year. We got to pray for a woman covered in burns. I've been by the side of a little boy dying of cancer and for the first time in my life felt the power of the cross. I've seen children reunited with their families and meet their new ones for the first time. I've seen children come to Amani completely closed off and reserved and I've seen them come alive after being cared for and loved on, smiling and laughing and talking and playing with the other children. I've seen a group of 200 young children sit quietly on the patio of Katie Davis, listening attentively to a bible story and singing worship with such carefree joy. I've seen hundreds of children come to a school carrying bowls knowing that at least for today they will be fed. I've driven a 4-wheeler around through villages with infection excited children and along the breathtaking shores of the Nile. I've watched children's faces light up simply because I have walked into the room. I have felt my heart be restored by their endless joy. I've driven a car on the wrong side of the road. I have had a cold, a fever, endless stomach issues, a sinus, and an infected cut. I have learned to trust God and to rely on him for strength. I have seen my capacity for love and for enduring and it has far surpassed my expectations. God has the ability to stretch us and use us in ways we have never anticipated. I feel so blessed and grateful for this experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

In a few days I will be back at home, catching up on TV shows I've missed, getting to be surrounded by people I have been away from for 2 months, reunited with all of my clothes and things that I have gone without. I will be thrust back into our materialistic, celebrity-obsessed culture, away from the community that I have grown to love and depend on. I can't imagine waking up and not hearing one of Charlie's jokes or Bekah's funny little laugh. I will miss Curry's quiet, calming presence, and Andy's awesome thrift store clothes. I am going to miss the church community that I have found here. Our pastor that has had us over to dinner multiple times and fed us and entertained us and loved on us. Our worship team that has had us to their house for worship on Tuesday afternoons with their sweet family. Our pastor's son who has come over for game nights and who was really there for us when Walter passed. It is just amazing. At church today they invited me to the front and prayed for me and I just felt so loved and cared for and I feel like no one wants me to leave, which is such a nice feeling. But I think I'm ready to come home.